Kylea Killeen

“How do I give a lap dance to an obese customer?”  – Curious Stripper

With my background in photography this question reminds me of people who ask “How do I photograph ____ people?” (fill in the blank with: African, African American, Black, Asian, Native American, yada yada yada) The question leaves me perplexed because I want to answer “Just like you photograph anyone else!” Many people know that I photographed weddings for numerous years. Guess what? Most brides & grooms wear black & white! This concerns many new photographers who debate how to handle a really bright subject next to a really dark subject. The simple answer to photographing people with darker skin is that you photograph them the same as anyone else, you came simply needs to be set to photograph at the correct exposure!

The secret to solving most problems is to figure out the details of what causes the problem. You could run around in circles trying to change 50 different things, but sitting down & thinking it through is often more effective. For example, what normally concerns a photographer when photographing a person with darker skin is that they think they need more light. The photographer will set his flash to output more light, & the photo produced will show a glaring  spot on the person’s skin. The glare is actually the highlighted (brighter) area of the subject, but because there is oil the light bounces back into the camera – causing the glare effect. On someone who produces a lot of oil (regardless of ethnicity) the first step is diluting the oil, either by soaking it up with something like rice paper, or applying powder. From that point in order for the camera to capture relatively the same amount of light the photographer sees on the subject, the correct exposure needs to be set, which can be determined by an electronic light meter device. The starting point for the proper exposure will be the same for any object of two different colors, because the same amount of light would hit them both. Again, its not about how you capture the photo with the camera settings… its about how you resolve the problem in the set-up!

You might be wondering what I am getting at here? My point is to think about what constitutes the problem of giving an obese customer a lap dance. The difference between a table dance & a lap dance is that during a lap dance, the dancer is expected to sit down to dance on the customer’s lap for part of the song. Very few people are so obese that their belly protrudes over their entire lap. That means a dancer could give an obese customer a lap dance just as easily as a slender customer… if only one change was made. Dance is something that can be done with movement using any part of the body, as witnessed by many wonderful performers who dance in wheelchairs. In the lap dance an entertainer could sit on the customer’s legs & simply dance using her arms, torso, & legs. Numerous dancers forget that they have all of these options to work with.

Lap dancing is a very customer service oriented industry though, & the happier the customer is with a service, the more likely they are to purchase again.  Times have changed what a woman can do physically though before a person quickly takes a sexual interest in her… & showing an ankle from beneath a floor length skirt won’t  cut it. Neither will simple teasing techniques used in the adult entertainment clubs within previous decades. Some strippers  now believe that the best way to entice someone is to arouse not the brain, but their primal instincts through their physical being… or more specifically their genitals. Other dancers simply can’t actually dance yet for the length of a song because they don’t have a large enough repertoire of moves. Both of these types of dancers can end up relying on the ability to create physical arousal in customers to make extra money beyond the first lap dance.

Strippers use three primary hip movements entice customer while in the customer’s lap. Many dancers perform “grinding”, which consists of moving the hips in a circular motion. Along with grinding is “bumping” which simply references the hips of the dancer being tilted forward, & then back with a quick thrusting motion. Some dancers will also employ an up & down “bouncing” motion by bending at both knees. When sitting in a male customer’s lap, where his pubic region is in contact either with the dancer’s behind or pubic region, these grinding/bumping/bouncing moves create friction & sometimes cause physical arousal in the customer… all while the customer is clothed though of course. If you aren’t sure yet what I’m referring to, the term “dry humping” will probably bring back some useful memories. You don’t need to say anything. I know most adults would probably be ashamed to admit they ever did anything which now reminds them of how an unneutered chihuhua might greet a guest at the door. While grinding may not be sex, plenty of people are happy to have even a dry version of a favourite activity… particularly from someone with a desirable body & good personality! Don’t think this is just something for the poor souls of the world who don’t get to enjoy sex either, no my good friends, some people simply can not get enough of sex & anything which relates to it.

After just once dance with an obese customer many entertainers learn that the belly pudge (sometimes overhang) acts as a barrier, restricting the entertainer from attaining friction in the pubic region. Unfortunately, especially for new dancers, many female strippers have very few moves in their lap dance repertoire, & not being able to use moves they do know can make them uneasy. This may cause them to lose out on money by not approaching customers who would buy dances. Therefore really the question they should be asking is:

“How do I move a customer’s stomach so that I have full access to their lap?”

A few dancers may suggest incorporating “belly play” into the dance, which is common among the obese gainer fetish community. Belly play can be done by a gainer or by another person to the gainer, such as a dancer. It consists of using the hands & body to play with the fat: lifting it, dropping it, creating folds from it & making waves of it. Imagine that you are kneading dough to make bread, & you have the basic idea of belly play. If you are 100% positive that your customer is a gainer the use the belly play to your advantage! However, many customers may not wish to have their weight pointed out to them.

The single best thing an entertainer can do is to change the customer’s posture to allow the entertain more access to the lap. When an obese person is standing, gravity from the earth is pulling down on everything, especially anything that hangs such as fatty tissues. When a person sits down their spine compresses, thus causing the rib cage to lower & generally forces things in the stomach region forward. All of these cause the stomach to protrude more than normal. Generally in an obese person gravity can no longer pull the tummy & protruding tissues down from a single point, so instead this area may rest on the top of the thighs. When this happens gravity is pulling down equally at multiple points, causing a sort of avalanche effect on the tissue where everything pulls forward & down, resulting in even less room for the entertainer, & blocking access to more of the lap. Depending on how obese a person is, very little of the lap could be blocked, or a lot could be blocked. In order for the entertainer to have access to more of the lap the posture of the customer is changed in order for gravity to pull the excess tissue down from multiple points, but with more of the points being higher up closer to the chest. To do this the customer simply needs to lean back!


To see this in motion take a look at this gentleman’s video on YouTube (warning: topless man).

When you are dancing for an obese person try to select the widest chair possible, since it will give you more space to work in without putting your own body into strange angles.

In order to get the customer to lean back:

1. Place your hands either on the top or side of the customers thighs.

2. While giving the customer a gentle pat on the thigh say something to the effect of  “Do me a favor & scoot forward on the chair a bit”, while sliding your hands closer to the customers knees. This effectively gives the customer both an audio & physical signal to move forward on their seat, which is less likely to be missed or require repeating.

Hint: for best effect you want your customer’s head & torso to be at an obtuse angle from their thighs, generally between about 130° & 180° (sitting up straight is a 90° angle & lying down on the back is a 180° angle). The larger your customer is, the closer they will need to be to an angle similar to laying down, which means they’ll need to move forward closer to the edge of their seat.

3. If possible place a pillow behind the customer’s back to help take up space. A pillow is not necessary, but for this method to be the most effective the customer’s neck & spine must remain relatively straight. The pillow will help keep customers from curling their shoulders forward & slouching or arching their spine.

4. Place the palm of your hand on the center of the customer’s chest, give a coy smile & say “Great, now we can really have fun”!, while gently pushing the customer back into the leaning position.

Voila! You now have full access to your customer’s lap, & are ready to start your dance.

If you find that you regularly have obese customers, encourage your club management to consider purchasing  sturdy seating with the furniture backs set at an angle. Most clubs generally have to replace their furniture every five to ten years due to dancers placing shoe heels on the furniture that create holes, along with regular wear & tear of  daily use.  The more you remind management that this is important to the customers, the more likely management is to remember to order something appropriate. Plus, most clubs would really only ever need one or two chairs for obese customers. Modern Line is a company that sells direct to many adult entertainment nightclubs & gentlemen clubs. Here are a few options for the type of furniture to look for:

Leisure Lounger by Modern LineChair ottoman by Modern Line - Loveseat by Modern Line -    Extra Wide

Lounge Chair by Brylane -    Copper Single by Zuo Modern -    Simple Sofa by LoveSac

Rocker Frame & PillowSac by LoveSac

(Alternatively you could also purchase the “Base a la Carte” instead of the rocker frame, & place the PillowSac on top. I’m a personal fan of the LoveSac products since my ex-boyfriend kept one in my home for years & it was very comfortable!)

For clubs who want their dancers to be able to give good lap dances to all customers, management should look for seating that features:

- A built in reclined back

- Relatively flat & solid sitting surface

- No or very little surface for the lower legs to rest, allowing dancers to perform between customers knees

Do not purchase tantra chairs (NSFW link), since these raise the position of the knees, & basically will put the customer close to the 90° angle position, & the dancer will have a hard time accessing both the lap & the space to dance between the knees.

I hope this will be helpful to some of you out there. Happy lap dancing!

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