If you are a stripper making friends becomes a decision process, & can be difficult. Generally when new dancers start I tell them to mind their own business, which in this industry is really good advice. As a new girl keeping your head low & trying not to cause problems lets you go in, make your money, & get out. Stripper friends, as with other things become an issue of “there’s a time & a place for everything”.
Making friends in this industry can be really risky, especially if you are easily persuaded or don’t have a good head on your shoulders. How many times have you heard about or seen the stereotypical stripper that is strung out on drugs? I won’t lie, it does happen… however it doesn’t have to happen to every dancer. Part of the problem is often that either the dancer doesn’t want to be dancing (or has other problems) & therefore suppresses the emotional distraught through drugs & liquor, or she falls in with the wrong crowd at work. The new dancer wants to have fun, & she wants to fit in… so sometimes she will hang out with the wrong crowd & just “go with the flow”. That “go with the flow” attitude can be dangerous though when suddenly the drugs & alcohol become a habit. By a new dancer keeping her head low she is not making friends at work, but rather learning to concentrate on work & be self reliant.
There is a time when stripper friends are good though, but I only suggest this for established dancers who have been in the industry three or more years. Once you have learned to work it’s good to know which other dancers you can be friends with. To figure this out take a look around you club & watch to see who the “career strippers” & “student strippers” are. Career strippers are the type that see dancing as a business & plan to be in it long term. For many career strippers drinking & doing drugs is not part of the equation, & she may even see it as a way to lose money. Career strippers are often very clean dancers (not providing illegal “extras”) because she doesn’t want to risk her reputation, & wants to make sure that she can get licensed in any city. Student strippers often want to keep a clean record because they plan to one day join the professional working class & don’t want any sort of criminal history… so they won’t provide extras either. Generally these two types of dancers are the best to pick your friends from.
You might be asking yourself at this point after three years why you would need stripper friends. Honestly, you don’t… but they can be useful. Let me give you a few examples.
First, sometimes I’ll talk to a customer & he has a physical type that he likes… thin brunettes. For me to try to sell him a dance would take a lot longer as a curvy blonde than if I were a thin brunette. I’ll ask him if he’s already seen a girl he likes, & if he has I will bring her back to him. Most of the time though he hasn’t spotted his physical type, & that is when I will bring over one of my stripper friends. Now, I could have chosen any girl in the club that matched his description… but instead I chose a stripper friend – someone I know & trust.
A second scenario that just recently happened was when one of my regulars was coming into town during a week that I was traveling, so our schedules didn’t match up. He’s a great customer, very well mannered, pays promptly & tips well… if he didn’t he’d be someone else’s regular ::naughty grin::. However, I have a stripper friend who is new in town & I know she doesn’t have regulars yet but probably needs some money. I asked my customer if he’d be interested in meeting one of my friends, pre-arrange everything, & she walks away with $360 plus tip from him for very little work or time. They both enjoyed their time together, & she didn’t have to hustle him for dances. or weed through the broke customers to find him. He trusted that I would refer him to another good dancer. You may think I’m crazy for referring him to another dancer, but I’m not. If I hadn’t referred him he probably would have gone to a local gentlemen’s club & may have ended up with either a dancer who provides extra or a dancer who he didn’t enjoy. You might think of what I did as insurance, I was insuring myself with a higher probability that he’d see me again when he was in town & that he’d have a good time.
A third situation is if you are a dancer traveling to a city where you have a stripper friend. Sure you can hustle & make your own money, but it’s much easier if your friend who is local can help you out. For example, I traveled out of town this year & at my destination city made money by doing lots of doubles with my friend’s regulars. We danced well together because we already knew each other, & we were both able to make money. Plus, stripper friends often will let you stay at their place for free or for a lot less than a hotel.
Fourth, how many times have you been in a situation where you needed a second dancer for a private party? If you are an established dancer & perform legal private parties in your area you’ve probably been asked to “bring a friend” more than once. Having a stripper friend in a situation like this can either make or break your ability to book a private party.
In all of these situations there is often a bit of karma or “you scratch my back & I’ll scratch yours” involved, meaning that when you help other dancers make money they tend to return the favor. That’s sort of a double bonus to you, & in the end even if you do refer a customer to another stripper friend you’ll probably see that money return as the stripper friend refers you to customers as well. I encourage those of you who are already established in this industry with multiple years of experience to start networking to make stripper friends & treating them well… they are an asset to your business.
